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This piece is so moving and captivating! The standard every other rhyme is very effective, and the words choice is phenominal. I also love the fact that you rpeated third verse as the last one, it concluded the peom very well. This is one of those poems that can be a long one, becasue it proficiently flows along. I also like the fact that you added no suurounding adjectives, so the reader can imagine whatever they feel is appropiate. It also conects to many people, even those who think they fall under this catagory are moved. I know I am loved, yet I was still touched by your words. A very well-written verse. Keep it up.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
5 out of 5 deviants thought this was fair.


VonDiezyl Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow! Thank you so much for your kind words. I can't express how happy I am that you were able to connect with this, and I'm just so touched by your words :heart: recently I've come across many Deviants who aren't doing okay, and I myself have been I'm similar situations, not with suicide, but with being in a bad place, and I know that sometimes all you need is love and support :heart:

Thank you for taking the time to critique my work, I feel so gratefull :)
Hyakki-Hikou Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome. :aww:
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